On Wednesday I had another date but with a new guy "j". We started off on a humorous note, the location we met at had TWO entrances and neither of us realized this. I was waiting in the bar talking to a guy (grad student drinking with his buddies) and he was on their restaurant side waiting. 25 minutes later, we finally realized it and joined up.
First impression – average white guy, 5’9, 39-41 years old, never married, no kids…nothing too special or scary. His picture was accurate – BONUS! He greeted me with a BIG HUG…oh brother! We sat down for dinner, meal was good but I really wanted to just grab a quick drink and go home (long day at the office). He is a therapist so I’m sure my stories seemed pretty G-rated. He was humorous to share a couple past client stories and likes/dislikes. Dinner lasted about 2 hours and I had to end things I knew Top Chef was going to be on in 45 minutes. He was cool with ending the night. The bill came – “Dutch” was determined. Of course, he was heading in my direction home; we rode the metro together. At his stop he went in for another hug, this was a little awkward side hug and put his face against mine…SERIOUSLY!
Now I posse this question…do you call/text/email a thank you and encourage another date if the “spark” was not there, but the conversation was pleasant? On the other hand, would you just leave it be and if he reaches out you go from there?
4 comments:
I think that depends on how amusing he was, and if he's amusing enough that "a spark" could develop. If that's a definitive "no" then just leave it alone.
If you had a pleasant time when you were together, I would give it a shot of encouragement. Maybe there will more spark if you are not concentrating on/feeling the effects of a long day at the office. I might recommend an actual Saturday night date!
I wouldn't worry about doing any "extra encouraging" if you weren't all that interested. Let him be the one to reach out.
I once went out with someone who was a friend of many in our circle. After date #1 I was done, but was STRONGLY encouraged (and that's an understatement) to continue to see him and try to make it work. (He's a good guy, I'm a good girl, I owe it to him and to myself to give it all I've got until any chance of something working is completely and totally burnt-to-a-crisp-dead-and-gone.) We went out on a second date - it was more difficult (for me) than the first.
So...I guess what I'm saying is if you're SURE it's not going to work out, let it go. But if there's a chance - even a very small one - you could end up enjoying each others' company, then go out with him again.
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